Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
