is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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