No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
