I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
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I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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