i think my tv is drunk
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
honey bunches of taint.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Randomize
