I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
