i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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