I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Your cock deserves a montage
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
how does that bad decision feel?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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