She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
