"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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