I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
