I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
