He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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