me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
