No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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