Me. At least after what I've been through.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
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Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
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I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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