I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
