i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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