i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Farmville is her only friend.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
