He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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