But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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