I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
