I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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