Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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