If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
