doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
