I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
