Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
then he tried to convert me to islam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize