He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
