Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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