Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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