how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
