That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
