i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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