Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
