i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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