I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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