shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
