is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
