How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
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Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
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And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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