508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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