I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I cut my penus on the lid.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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