why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
