awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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