It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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