i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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