I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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