She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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