Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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