i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
