Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The air was thick with penises
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize