Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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