Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
