hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
that's an acceptable place to lick
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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