Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
