Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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