Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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