Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
