That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
