i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
