You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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