i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
